Epic Lentil Fail

Sundays are my my day to play Domestic. I get caught up on chores, tidy, putter, clean and cook. This routine has become quite enjoyable and I happily plan my lunches and breakfasts for the coming week. I've begun to enjoy cooking, which may come as a shock to some. I know, I know, we'd better check the temperature in Hell.

I've discovered I'm not half bad at it. Yes, I need a recipe and yes, I pour over it numerous times before diving in. But, I've learned what I like and what I don't and have become more daring with just winging my measurements and eyeballing the cooking. I'm happy, and relieved, to say it generally works out. Take, for example, the pumpkin pasties.

Which is why I felt I could easily handle the delicious-looking lentil curry you see below. Lentils, curry, rice, yogurt. All things I enjoy and all things with which are easy to cook. And the fairly straightforward recipe from Whole Foods gave no indication that what lay ahead would be anything less than yummy.

Looks delicious, doesn't it? Yeah, I thought so too.

I've got this one in the bag, I thought. How's that saying go? Oh, yes. Pride goeth before the fall.

Admittedly, I altered it. I didn't cook that rice for an hour (what kind of rice needs an hour to cook?), I didn't soak those lentils overnight (my package said "ready to cook"), I also decided to skip the stove top and went to the CrockPot because it's, supposedly, more fool proof.

So, in went the lentils, the tomatoes, the onions, garlic, curry powder. I improvised with coconut milk.

When I came back some time later it all smelled wonderful. Then I lifted the lid. "Oh," I said. The looks of it? Not so wonderful. And the smell, lid once lifted, wasn't so bueno.

But I divvied it out into bowls, on top of rice, and told myself it would be great. Fantastic even!

Nope.

This doesn't look tasty, does it? It wasn't.

I have never successfully cooked a lentil recipe. This is about the fourth that has failed. I like lentils, really! And I happily eat them.  Just anywhere other than my own kitchen. Me and lentils? I've decided that we'll agree to disagree. I'm throwing in the lentil towel.